Friday October 2 – Life at Home

Last night, Quinn ground his teeth a lot. I would gently elbow him to stop – he kept up the ‘cud chewing cow’ imitation all night … or so it seemed. Is this because of his sickness or is it because of your sickness? Maybe it’s something kids do when new teeth come in. We all have a dentist appointment this month. I must remember to ask about it.

Karen, the patient liaison, called. I explained my concerns about the communication breakdown and my frustration with getting no urology consult and how I believed that possibly if the urology consult use done earlier then you might not have had a UTI. She sounds very concern and says that it’s unusual for us to be left hanging. She said she would see if she could set up a family meeting.

Marsha reminded me yesterday that I should be thinking in terms of weeks – a week ago you had your trach tube still – I have to think about trends and not the day to day ups and downs – (Like you said John K)

I start the day in a normal way – walk Annie to work – she remembers the way and stops at all the best smell spots.

Annie’s life has changed. She is used to getting a lot of walking time and attention from me. This past month she has had minimal attention. Her response: one BM in the house (I think I forgot to put her outside that night before bed – that was early in the marathon) and a few things chewed. If I give her a rawhide just before I leave in the morning, she seems more settled.

I have been very relaxed about Annie’s sleeping quarters. In the early days, I didn’t sleep and Annie would follow around and watch over me. Then as the days progressed to weeks, I let Annie on our bed because I felt guilty about her being ignored. But Annie, like the cats, hogs the bed and I don’t get a good night sleep. I’ve got to try to claim back our bed from children and animals.

I have been worried about Himmy. Whenever I get up in the middle of the night, he spends a solid few minutes drinking. This is unusual for a cat. Drinking a lot can mean all sorts of problems. Val and I pick him up from the house and I take him to work. I check him over and check his urine – everything is OK – nothing wrong – I guess I’m just being paranoid after poor Scroggins died.

Children have been invited to join a Friday evening youth group. This was their first time there. Karen and her children take them. They had a good time. Some Fridays they won’t be able to go but it sounds like it is a fun and a healthy environment. It also frees me up to do those little odd jobs like groceries stock up on pellets and tidy the garage etc.

My back is sore now after stocking half the winter’s worth of pellets for the stove. Now that’s done, I can get the garage organized and store the van.

About six months ago, I learned a new trick from Quinn. Whenever you ask him casually, “How are you doing?” He would answer with an enthusiastic “I’m great.”
Actually, it wasn’t just ‘great’, he would say ‘GR-R-eat!” with lots of positive energy and force. I love asking him – “How are you?”- Because I loved to hear his answer, especially on those days when I didn’t feel so great.

When I hear him say it – I would start to feel better. His joy over life was and is contagious. Maybe this is because of the good vibes he gives off really are contagious or maybe because he’s our son. I’d like to think it’s the good vibes.

One day, while I was walking Annie. I was thinking about Quinn’s GR-R-eat and decided that from then on whenever anyone asked me – How are you? – I would reply like Quinn. I would say “I’m GR-R-eat”. No matter how I really felt – because by saying it made me realize that I really do have a lot of great and good things in my life and I could make someone else feel a little better about their life.

Most of this year, whenever someone asked me how I am. I said “I’m GR-R-eat” and I would smile. I don’t know if it helped other people but I felt it helped me. Everytime I’d said it – it felt like a little Thank You to God and it made me feel better.

The other day, I was asked the question. My mouth started to say great – because I had trained my self – but the words came out different. Come to think of it – I don’t think I’ve heard Quinn say it recently either.

The first week you were in hospital I thought I would never say ‘I’m GR-R-eat’ again.
Now, I think I will. I just don’t know when. Maybe when we can really talk and start sharing our lives again.