Since last week, when it was suggested to me that you might be able to come home for Christmas, I have taken great joy in saying this to anyone who might ask after you in the course of the day. “We hope to have him home for a little while at Christmas!” Secretly, I think that if I can say this enough times – that this will be true.
I asked you what you thought of the analogy of your recovery with a marathon. You liked it. I wondered where you thought we were in the marathon at this time. Assuming it started on stoke day and ends when you have recovered as much as you can. You said “I think we are in the port-a-potty.”
I don’t know if you were just confusing my question with a subject that is close to your heart right now – regular bathroom duties, or that you figuratively meant the port-a-potty.
Last spring in Boston, the port-a-potties got you’re a little screwed up. You had carefully timed your bodily functions to occur just before the race start time. The problem with Boston, is that the port-a-potties are quite a distance from the start line. You timed every thing well but not well enough. Once you completed the necessary bathroom duties, you had to sprint to the starting place for your bib number.
Maybe you are right, the analogy works well and that last three months have represented the time spent getting to the marathon, not the actual marathon. The early wake up, the morning walk, the coffee and the light breakfast you had and the long ride in a bus to Hopkington for the start of the race and lastly, the port-a-potty.
I called you from work a couple of times. You seem much better today. You wondered aloud if you should be committed. “Committed to what?” I ask. “Committed to the Cuckoos Nest.” The only thing that you need to commit to is to commit to getting better and get to the HSRC. Fran and Laura are visiting you this morning feeding you positive energy.
You felt you “crossed the line” last night. I pointed out to you, that with everything in life you need to know the boundaries. If you don’t know the boundaries, you can not be safe and yet still be able to spread your wings and grow as a person. Knowing where ‘the line’ is good. You may have crossed it, but you crossed back over it. On this side of ‘the line’ is rehab and your future. Now you know where the line lives in your mind you can keep your eye on it.
Tonight, I read to you an article about Trevor Greene in the Globe and Mail. A soldier from the Afghanistan war who was injured four years ago at a village meeting with an axe in the back of the head. The resulting damage was devastating. Greene, couldn’t stand or speak or do many things, but four years later, he is still making progress. And may actually walk a few steps ‘down the aisle to marry his bride to be next spring. Determination and Neuroplasticity are the keys for him and the key motivator is his bride and his four-year-old daughter. He has everything to live for … and so do you.
Quinn was sad today at bedtime. I think it started with being rushed to get to bed. Mondays are always such a rush. Get home, eat dinner, do homework and get to bed by 8:30 so that we will be able to get to school on time the next day. It’s a race and we usually end up in last place every week. This week was no different. Quinn is still eating dinner at 7:45. I said that we didn’t have time for a bedtime story. Lately, we never have time for a bedtime story. Quinn has been ripped off with the ‘snuggle in bed story time’.
Tonight Quinn’s sadness wasn’t really about missing the bedtime story. After a few minutes he said “I want Daddy home of Christmas.” I said that we were working on this idea and that we might get Daddy home.
“What are the chances?” he said.
“I don’t know Sweetie, we will just have to see.” I don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep.
“Are they fifty–fifty?” he persisted.
“Yes, I suppose the odds are fifty-fifty – we will just have to wait and see.”
He seemed a little satisfied with the answer. At least satisfied enough to go to sleep.
I talked to you at bedtime. You seem much better tonight. I told you about Quinn’s concerns. You want to be home too.