Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sunday February 21 – Counting the Days

This morning you suggest that we should have a regular family Sunday meeting. To make a plan for the week. “A plan for what I want to achieve for meals and other jobs.” You want things that allow you to develop interests and feel like you are contributing to the family’s well being. A lot of what you need to do in a day should be oriented towards facilitating your recovery. A carefully planned day that allows you to work the parts of your brain and body that need the extra help and attention.

It has been suggested to us that you will need supervision while at home. Neither of us know what this means exactly. A lot of it has to do with the fact that the left neglect makes things unsafe for you. If constant home care is going to be a fact then we should make the most of the people power and use their time to keep you on track to sticking to a recovery plan. A plan with daily, weekly and monthly goals.

This can be a plan that extends to the whole family. Sunday can be a family goal setting time. As you talk about this I can’t believe my ears. The words ‘plan’ and ‘goals’ are music to my ears.

Slowly the thought is entering your mind. “Why me? Why did the stroke have to be so severe. There are all sorts of stroke survivors who suffer far less then this.” This is true, currently two of your three roommates are walking after their stroke. Of course you may not see their true losses as easily but all you know is how your loss feels. And it hurts.

“I just want to walk, to run, to play with the kids, to swim and bike. I just want my body back.” This is so hard to hear. It reminded me of the time Juanita and I talked on the phone shortly after she lost her first baby early in her pregnancy. We were all so excited about the new life in the family and Juanita wanted to be a mother more then anything. She said weeping over the phone “I just want my baby back.” Those words still tear at my heart when I think about them. Your words rip my heart out.

In the afternoon, Martha came over for a little visit. While she spent time with you, I took the children for a swim. They had fun in the pool. It was a good weekend with all four of us under the same roof. But Sunday afternoon came and went too fast. I am beginning to dislike Sunday afternoons when we always part. I am looking forward to the Sunday where the afternoon flows to evening and evening to bedtime and we are still all together … under the same roof.

Earlier today, Quinn was counting days again. His part-time passion. He was counting days to Tara’s birthday and his birthday and to the Cabot Trail Relay race. Tonight, at bedtime, Quinn asks, “Is Daddy is going to be home in one month?” “Well, we don’t know for sure, but he will be home about then … maybe only three weeks!” Quinn pauses, smiles and says, “That’s only 21 days. That’s not much!”

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