On the way to school, Tara says that she has had a reoccurring dream. “Daddy came home!” Quinn says excitedly “I had the same dream, Daddy is a little different but he still has the funny in him.”
“Wow, That’s great because re-occurring dreams are more likely to come true.” I say. “If you believe it, your belief will help make it happen. The future may not look exactly like is was in your dream but it will feel the same way.”
“Yes”, I said, “Daddy will be a little different, it may not be a big change but Daddy will still his funny in him and his love for you.” No matter what happens I know deep down you will still be you and we will still love you.
As I walk to work with Annie, I think about the life of a single parent. I can’t imagine how tough it must be to parent by yourself. I don’t think I could do this for long ... I can do it for now … But you need to come back. There are so many things we need you for.
Sarah, a fellow mother at the school, sent me a beautiful letter. She talked about how she had found that parenting has helped her to live in the moment. She enclosed a bread tag that had the date ‘Apr 29’ on it. This is her son’s birth date. She had crossed paths with the tag before his birth and found it later and kept it for the next 17 months. She reflected that one never knows what the momentous dates will be it your life.
I guess you just have to have faith that there will be momentous dates. Parenting trains you to take time to live in the moment and experience the momentous times. I have definitely found this to be true. There have been far more moments since Tara and Quinn have entered our lives. These moments are vivid with a clarity to them that makes you glad to be living.
Certainly, I believe that, these times have enabled me to learn more from parenting Tara and Quinn then they could possibly have learned from me.
It seems that I am often asked, “What’s it’s like to be back to work?” In a nutshell, it’s easy. It’s what I know. I love my work and I love the people I work with. My coworkers make it good. Even a busy day like today, with an emergency in the middle of a booked day. It was still good. There is no time to think about personal life too much. It’s an escape.
When Tara and Quinn were young and I was still trying to figure out how to parent them and keep my sanity. I would welcome a day back at work. It was like a vacation from my stressful parent job. I didn’t have the confidence and honed skills of parenting yet. I did at work.
Today was a busy day. We had a majestic Lab come in, she had collapsed and was in stock. On the surface it looked like trauma, but after some blood tests it looked more like a poisoning. Possibly, it was a mushroom toxin affecting the liver. The dog’s people were completely taken off guard. She was running like the wind yesterday, playing and having fun. Today she was dying. Her prognosis was guarded and recovery may not be complete. Oh boy, that’s sounds too familiar. I felt so bad for them. We had to euthanize her.
After work, I pick tomatoes and start to organ-size the garage to get it ready for winter. This is a job I have wanting to do for a long time. I find peace in creating a little order. It’s therapeutic for me. Actually, it’s more like a feeble attempt to gain a little control over my life. Either way I do feel good doing it.
At bedtime, Quinn picks out the book: ‘The Value of Humor, The Story of Will Rogers’. I asked “Quinn, do you know what humor means.” “Yep!” He says “Dad has humor, His is funniness.”
Quinn really loves your sense of humor. I think he is more worried about it then anything. I can see his sense of humor emerging now and I expect he will be a good student of yours in the years to come. But for now, he is happy being the president of your funny fan club.