Thursday, May 6, 2010

Sunday April 25 – We are Dominos … surrounded by Pillars

This morning is worse. You are very contrary. I had hoped that the mood you were in last night would have melted away by morning. It hadn’t. In fact, it got worse. Now you not only refuse the your medicines, but you don’t want me around you.

Tara tries her best to bring you out of the slump. She did an old Knock Knock joke that she made up when she was three. It always got a rise out of you. “Knock knock” “Whose there?” “Old MacDonald had a farm EIEIO.”

It didn’t work. She resorts to the internet to find jokes that might made you laugh. No luck. She gives up. Quinn starts on his approach. He lays beside you and cuddles and talks softly to you in soothing tones like a parent to their baby. “Quinn’s the only one who really loves me.” You say.

I felt desperate. I didn’t know what to do. I reached out over the phone. I though of the church and the people who have stood strong behind us all these months. I thought of them and reached out.

Within the hour, Janice and her husband, Les, were by your side. Les, a fellow baseball player from many years ago, gave you the type of pep talk that you would have loved if this were a baseball game. Janice sweet talked you into taking you medications. You rallied a little. A little while later, Hollis came to your side to try to bring you back to reality. He talked about you needing to realize that although the effects of the stroke really suck, life does go on and the sooner you comprehend this the better.

Later, in the afternoon, the minister from the church Jay and his husband, Marty, came to talk to you. After sharing thoughts and feelings with you Jay asked you to promise two things. The first was to remember that you are a member of a family. You have to let the needs of the others in the family come first. Part of your role is to be a giving person. Secondly, when you are frustrated about the things you can’t do, you should breakdown the problem and learn how you can do it in a different way that works for you.

You seemed much better after this talk. You even listen when I tell you about my worries and fears. I tell you that when you are good emotionally, I am strong and can take on the world. When you falter, I grind to a halt and cannot muster the energy to even think about the next step. I need you to be strong.

“You do have a choice … the bigger choice then anyone of us in the family can have. You can choose to be an inspiration or a burden.” These two paths are very different and they are determined by the little choices that you make. You can choose to be a smoker and a 4X4 coffee drinker and doughnut eater who refuses your medication. If you do then you will be an overweight, angry and depressed man who treats his feelings with cigarettes. No one will want to be with you. You will be a burden. OR You can made different choices that enable you to make the best recovery that you can make. You will be an inspiration.

The day ended pretty well. We talked and analyzed what happened to make the second 24 hours of your home life so hard. We both feel much better about the future and communicate and work things through.

We have to thank the outside support that came by our side today. They are the only reason that we got through it and are stronger for it.

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